Well, here it is... (it's from Warriors (well, my Warriors))
(BTW, his name isn't Fireheart, it's Firestorm) (He's the first kit)
Firestorm’s Dream
Deep in the mists that clung onto leaves as
the rain tried in vain to unsettle them, in the forest where no man walked, and
a land of cats began, in a territory vast and proud, in a clearing where a few
cats waited eagerly for the arrival of their new clanmates, was a den. And in
that den lay Mirrorpelt, a beautiful blue she-cat with a silver sheen, and
glowing, tired amber eyes, with her four new kits, each special in their own,
darling way.
The first, and the only boy, was Firekit, a
rambunctious little orange tom with blue eyes, the colour of the night sky,
when lovely, picturesque things happen. The second was a sweet, coy she-kit
with a soft downy the colour of a pale, spring rose, and eyes of grassy green.
She was named Sorrelkit. The third was Fawnkit, a beige coloured kit with large
eyes of melting amethyst. The last, and the smallest of the litter, was
Cinderkit, a white kit with patches of orange and beige over one eye, her back
and belly, paws and tail. Her eyes were a deep, meaningful shade of forest
green, and she was the quietest, sweetest little kit of the nursery. Except for
maybe Siphenkit.
Lilypetal, another Queen, gave Mirrorpelt a
lick on the head, trying not to wake her own young, who had been born only a
few moonrises ago, “They’re beautiful,” she murmured, signalling with her tail
to Echoleaf, their medicine cat, to go get the father.
Adderleap, Mirrorpelt’s mate had been too
afraid to enter the nursery while Mirrorpelt was having her kits, and instead
went into the forest to catch a pigeon, his beloved mate’s favourite
fresh-kill. He didn’t even want to enter when they were being washed and named;
he was too scared that he’d get in the way.
And so now, he walked guiltily in,
regretting his decisions to stay away, but proudly because of his young and
because in his jaws, he held the largest pigeon any Thunderclan cat had ever
caught.
He began to purr when he saw his four
gorgeous kits nuzzling their mother’s belly for milk, and he licked
Mirrorpelt’s muzzle, “You did well, love.”
Mirrorpelt gave him a playful nip on the neck, and invited him to lie beside her and the kits. And so, as night fell, their even breathing became one.
Mirrorpelt gave him a playful nip on the neck, and invited him to lie beside her and the kits. And so, as night fell, their even breathing became one.
This is really good. ;) I look forward to writing with you.
ReplyDeleteEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH, THANK YOU :D
ReplyDeleteWhat, you're making me seem like a big star or something. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou're really descriptive, but I feel that you could work on your sentence variety. At some points it sounded kind of repetitive and awkward, but you have a lot of talent. ;)
And your welcome.
HAha, you are some sort of celebrity, a blog celebrity, thank you for the tips, i'll continue it here in a few hours. :)
ReplyDelete